My Curly Hair Conundrum, Part I

Wavy, coil-y, curly, kinky, and combinations of all the above: there are just as many types of curl patterns as there are stars in the sky. A gift, some say, a unique trait. Lovely circles bouncing off your scalp! What could be better!

Countless people—strangers and loved ones alike, in countries across the globe—have oohed and aahed over my hair. Sure, it’s unique. Sure, it can look nice. But if you envy curly hair, let me (be probably not the first to) tell you that it is both a blessing and a burden.

Quick background: I’m Indian and popped out of the womb with thick black curls. I inherit the curls from my father. I’m sure there are curly-haired dads who can teach their children how to tend to their hair, but mine tragically went bald at the hands of smallpox when he was just 21, long before he married. (If you compare photos of us ages 1–6, my father and I look like twins.) No one around me, even though I grew up in the same house as my grandparents and my dad’s then-unmarried sister, knew how to take care of my curls. Indian women are renowned for their gorgeous, thick, long, (read: straight) black hair, which they oil and braid each night before bed. My grandmother was by then balding, but my aunt had short, straight hair, as did my mother. They took turns tending to my hair before school each morning, running a narrow tooth comb through the dense curls and plaited them. My brother and I went to public school (British-speak for private school), so loose hair was not permitted. Every photo of me till age 20 features buns…